Sober Girl's Guide to Life

For a long time after I got sober I was worried about never having fun again. My idea of fun was still wrapped up in teenage fantasies and druggy dreams where everything glitters and champagne flows and hangovers, well they never happen. I forgot that the last few years of my using were mostly terrible: I didn’t have fun, I got wasted to try to feel or not feel and all the while I just sank deeper into the darkness of my addiction.
Fun isn’t one perfectly filtered Instagram photo of girls posing with bottles at a party on a boat or big smiles through a cloud of smoke in a crowded room, it’s not one moment or one thing, it’s whatever it is to you.
Fun changes when you get sober, it doesn’t disappear! Everything changes, most things for the better. Fun for me now is being with friends (like it was before, I think) but it’s remembering the jokes and enjoying the moments, it’s being present and comfortable and truly myself. Letting loose. Sober.

Jul 29
The After Party
You’re magical!
Jul 25

You’re magical!

(Source: blowyourmindwithwhys, via nostalgicabe)

"In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.
In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.
In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.
I realized, through it all, that 
In the middle of winter, I finally found that within me there lies an invincible summer."

- Albert Camus (via ii-sm)

(Source: stxxz.us, via reachingforrecovery)

Jul 23
Jul 21
Jul 18

In early sobriety it’s important to keep it simple, no big changes, right? But over time things will happen: people will move, relationships will start and finish, new jobs will be attained. It’s exciting, but also stressful (for everyone) so patience and staying present is good. Take it easy on yourself, keep sobriety at the front of things and always remember you are where your feet are. Don’t live in the future, it’s a scary place. You’re right here in the right now and if you’re sober you’re in the right place. If you’re struggling, you’ll get there soon!

Jul 12
Changes
Jul 11

Dating in (and out of) sobriety is tricky business, what with the messiness of feelings and such, but there are great rewards in opening up and allowing ourselves to connect with and trust another person.
I’ve dated sober men and not sober men (some really not sober) and I’ve found there are pros and cons to them all. Sober people speak the language and there’s compassion built in; you share this thing and that’s comforting. You don’t have to explain it, it’s unspoken. But we are a wild bunch, we are often sensitive and intense and that sometimes doesn’t work. Being with a not sober person can be refreshing. Some say two addicts in a relationship is too many? I don’t know. Maybe for me it’s the neurotic hyper self aware self conscious addict type that’s too much because it’s too similar to me. It should be noted that non addicts can be just as crazy. Or maybe you like crazy, I certainly do, but I have to know my limits and look for someone whose personality balances mine out, I personally need to be calmed and reminded to stay present and the right partner can do this. Sober or not.
Like most things in life it’s about being open minded, trusting yourself and being patient and present.
I know people who wait to tell the person they are dating that they are sober, but I am quick to share it. Maybe it’s a test, I don’t know, but it’s a big part of my life that will play a part in any relationship I have. Just as I respect someone’s decision to drink, I hope others respect my sobriety and for anyone who I choose to get close to, that understanding is essential. They don’t have to get it, as in be sober or read the Big Book cover to cover (though that’s a perk), but respect is key. Every relationship has complications, every person has “stuff” we are not terminally unique and it’s our stuff that makes us special; the hope is that we are open and up for dealing with our issues somehow. That’s what I find attractive: sober or not, someone who gets that life is an adventure and sometimes complicated and messy, but if we try to be open honest and compassionate, we stand a pretty good chance of having a grand time.

Jul 6
Dating
Jul 3
Jun 27

This is my refuge. This is my kingdom. With the door sealed shut and the world locked out, I am free to destroy myself in the solitude of white walls and curtains closed tightly. I make myself up for a night of staying in and present myself with a bottle to be shared with no one. I pour shots of vodka, which I drink like water and pretend I’m drinking wine. I make believe there’s still elegance in what I’ve become. I drink until that moment of relief, when everything recedes and there is a lightness to the world. And then because I do I just keep drinking, because the world needs to be lighter, things are too heavy still. Sadness returns. The brief respite from myself is over. My belly full of something that is draining me, toxins flowing through my veins and into my mind. I am a mess. I am worthless. I hate myself. The cracks are showing through my skin, I’ll soon break into a thousand pieces.

Jun 27
Remembering
Jun 24
Jun 22

(Source: snobfashionsource.blogspot.ca)

Every feeling has a beginning, a middle, and an end.

Jun 17
theafterpartygroup:

And for everyone’s safety, keep your eyes on where you’re walking.
Jun 9

theafterpartygroup:

And for everyone’s safety, keep your eyes on where you’re walking.